I’m tired. If you’re a parent, then I’m guessing you are too. This parenting thing is exhausting. Whether you are a working mom, a stay at home mom, a step mom, an “I’ve got it all together” mom, or a self-described “hot mess” mom – there is a good chance that you have moments of super woman level confidence, and moments of utter defeat. Like, real defeat. We’re talking throw in the towel, lock yourself in the bathroom, curious if we need a short stay in the psych ward level defeat. But, we moms? We rally.
Every.
Single.
Day.
Motherhood requires a level of multi-tasking like none other. The other day I found myself breastfeeding, while on the phone with our health insurance (taking notes of course) while teaching a 5-year-old how to fold a paper airplane. And the most remarkable thing about this level of extreme multi-tasking is that nothing about it makes me different from other moms.
We all do this. Because we are moms, and we never stop being moms. But just because we aren’t “exceptional” does not mean we don’t deserve a lot of credit.
Moms are amazing. All of us. We are strong women who grow humans inside of us and then break ourselves into many pieces trying to get them out one way or another. Or, we adopt a child and our lives change in an instant. Any way a child comes into our life, even though we just met, we are supposed to know exactly what to do with a crying, pooping, nipple-biting, adorably cute little gremlin with no sense of day or night. Those first few weeks are HARD. Sleep-deprivation and post-partum health issues make you feel like you might not be able to do this whole motherhood thing. But you do. Because you’re a mom. And we rally.
Someone once told me “it doesn’t get easier… the challenges just change.” And that’s so true. Babies become fun toddlers, who produce endless entertainment but then throat-punch us in public and lose their minds because we left a piece of orange peel on. Toddlers become kids, who ask for help with the homework that we don’t understand but at least laugh at our jokes. Then they become more self-sufficient big kids but want to own cellphones, host sleepovers and buy their own violent video games. As teenagers, they may tell us they hate us, but two weeks later need us to hold them after they get their heart broken. And no matter how frustrated we were with them, you’re darn right we will hold them, and want to mama-bear our way to school and threaten whoever hurt our baby.
It’s that roller coaster that defines our lives. There are high points, and there are low points. Sometimes we want a break from being mom. Maybe you’ll go get a manicure, have a glass of wine, or lock yourself in the bathroom, but you’re still a mom.
You’re just a mom locked in the bathroom. You’ll take your moment, re-group, and then rally. Because somehow, we all do.
The point is – give yourself grace, because this is hard.
Know you deserve credit for doing this mom thing every day, no matter your “parenting style.” A million moms may have already gone through what you’re going through. A million other moms are struggling to meet their own self-imposed ideals. A million moms are dog tired. But we are all amazing, necessary, and enough. You can do this. You can rally. If you’re going through a moment of defeat, know that you are not alone. Know that even from inside the locked bathroom, you are enough. Know that every stage is temporary. You can take the highs and the lows, one day moment at a time. Because you’re a mom.
And we moms –
We rally.
