Snow clouds come with a silver lining

Less than one percent of the world’s population lives in a climate where it gets as cold as it does in Wisconsin. That means the other 99+ percent is missing out on that feeling of taking in a deep breath of winter air and instantly freezing your nostrils.

Love it or hate it, colder weather is coming and bringing with it the usual assortment of dry skin, chapped lips and hair that stands on end with static. But take heart! There are many perks (I’ve identified the following nine) to living in the Frozen Tundra that the rest of the world is missing. Guaranteed they don’t know the joy of owning a fur-lined, heated ice scraper…

  1. Your garage doubles as a walk-in fridge, and you can chill a 12-pack of soda or your favorite adult beverage almost instantly in a snowbank. How do people in the South store their big holiday platters in the heat? This brings me to…
  2. You can grocery shop in the morning and proceed to run all the rest of your errands without worrying about your ice cream melting or dairy products turning rancid by lunchtime. Wisconsin for the win.
  3. Bad hair days are no problem in winter. If you don’t feel like styling (or even, some days, washing) your hair before dropping kids at school, a cozy stocking cap covers a multitude of sins and sets a good example for your children.
  4. No one expects you to wash windows during the winter. And we never have to deal with flies, mosquitoes or ticks.
  5. You’ll get caught up on celebrity gossip in the waiting room of your pediatrician’s office. While you make those all-too-frequent doctors’ visits to screen for strep and ear infections, it’s like a free, three-month subscription to People magazine.
  6. Even though Bay Beach is closed, driving down Wisconsin streets after a snowfall is kind of like taking your car on a twisted bumper-car ride where the object, of course, is to NOT hit anything.
  7. Feel like you haven’t seen the sun in months? Cheer up and think of all the skin damage and wrinkles you are avoiding! Your dermatologist would be so proud!
  8. Shoveling burns calories. So does shivering. You’re welcome.
  9. Last, surviving a really crappy Wisconsin winter leaves us feeling grateful for spring and accomplished for having made it through another year. Kind of like that feeling of accomplishment when you kick the block of frozen gray slush off the wheel well of your car and it drops off in one piece. Nailed it.

What do you like most/least about Wisconsin winters? Celebrate or commiserate in the comments!

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