Being a parent is not easy. The culture and times that we live in definitely don’t help either. And there are MANY fears and worries that we have as parents! You are not alone! Here are some of the top worries that many parents have and ways to try to overcome them. (Note: I am not a doctor, psychologist, expert on these in any way, shape or form. This is just my practical experience and talking about them with other mommas I know. )
This is my personal top fear but also one that I do the best with accepting – strange huh? I am terrified of not being around for my kids as they grow up. There are too many horrible car accidents, public tragedies, and stories of cancer on a daily basis that make it easy to think of the “what if” and “worst-case scenarios.” I pray all the time to let me live until they are at least adults and can take care of themselves. But like I said before, even though this is a fear, I know if something did happen to me, my kids would be ok. They have a wonderful daddy, Grandma, Grandpa and extended family that would raise them right. They have a strong community around them that that would rally to help. Even with my religious beliefs, I know it would all be ok. So I try to remember that every day is a blessing and I try to take the road of being grateful for each day I get to be their Momma and raise them.
Being There to Protect Them
This can mean so many things. When they are infants, we do our best to protect them from illness, accidents, strangers and more. As they grow, we protect them by teaching them safety, right and wrong, how to play with others and how to get help when they need it. But it changes with each age and stage.
This is especially terrifying as your child enters school and you are no longer there to hear every conversation, see every interaction, shelter every blow they’ll endure and wipe away every tear they’ll have. I wish I was there to protect them from every playground fall, every mean word directed their way, or every poor choice they choose to make. I want to protect them from the terrors that are now in our world, the online and media world they will see, and so much more.
But I can’t and it’s ok. I need to know that what they endure will make them stronger. That my job as their mom is to prepare them how to react and deal with situations, and do “right” even when others are doing wrong.
Keeping open communication helps me get through this. It helps to ask things at the dinner table like, “What’s one thing that made you sad today?” so you can talk through things that come up. I also try my best to surround my kids with great role models, friends, and situations that are positive.
Wanting Your Kids to Do Well
I’m not talking about making it to the NFL someday or getting a full-ride to an Ivy League school here. I’m talking about just the basics of wanting your child to do well with people, in school, in activities they try, and enjoy their little childhood!
I want my children to have quality friends and people in their life who influence them in the right way. I want them to influence others in a positive way, too. This is harder to control once they hit school, but I do know it starts at home. It starts at home with teaching them respect, manners and how to act in different situations. There are a lot of life lessons to be had, too, if they slip in this area.
Of course every parent wants their child to do well in school. As a teacher it is heartbreaking to watch a student get frustrated or struggle and you wish you could make it all go away for them! But I can’t control the strengths and weaknesses my children were blessed with. What I can do is to teach them not to give up, to always work hard, try their best and to ask for help if they don’t understand. I need to do my part as a parent to teach and practice at home and also have faith that the teachers in their life are doing all they can to help them too.
As a parent I’ve tried to expose my children to a variety of activities so they can decide what interests them and what they’d like to pursue more. I don’t need my kids to be the MVP, starter, or the best at what they do. I just need them to be good teammates, have positive coaches, and enjoy the experience. If they aren’t having fun, what’s the point? In this era of activities and the stories I’ve already heard, I’m already nervous for this as they get older. But I need to put my fears of others ruining activities for them to bay and concentrate on what I can control.
So if you are in the same boat as me, and have these fears and even more – you are NOT alone! As mommas, we will worry about our children until the day we die. But hopefully you can be reassured that you are doing the best you can to protect them, raise them right and that’s all we can do!