Reach

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My kids can be whiny. If they want to do something that isn’t easily achieved on their own, they tend to moan and groan. Sometimes, they even give up. Sometimes they scream like it’s the end of the world and therefore mandatory in their eyes that I come running immediately to assist. These are the instances where, 9 times out of 10, they would do just fine on their own.

I question if I’m harsh or apathetic from time to time, because I know when my children are grown they will quote me with “No, you can do that yourself.” It’s kind of my mantra now that they’re past the toddler stage. You want to go outside? You are old enough now; you can put on your own coat and shoes. Your sister beat you to the swing you wanted? You can choose another swing. You can’t find the toy you were just playing with? Retrace your steps. You can solve these situations by yourself. I have seen you handle them before.

Ever since each of my girls was strong enough to sit, when I’d pick them up to embrace in any sort of affection, I’d rest their knees on my shoulders, hold them high, and say, “Touch the ceiling.” Our home doesn’t have tall ceilings by any means, but in the really early occasions, my arms would be outstretched to assist them, to bring that big smile that they had reached the highest point inside our home. In the beginning, it was just for fun, no particular reason, just something whimsical. But as they grew, they wanted me to pick them up, give them a hug, and help them touch the ceiling. The support from their knees was replaced by the support of their feet, suddenly we were a cheerleader pose, and they each stood tall on my shoulders in their own time.

I can remember when their fingers barely touched. I can remember when my middle child insisted her legs still be Jello long after her little twin sister stood strong as a tree. And I wonder how I’m going to achieve the tradition when my excessively tall 5-year-old still asks for this moment with mom. But it leaves me emotional. It takes me to a symbolic place. In the beginning, I held my children up so they could reach the ceiling, today I support them, and tomorrow, well, tomorrow I could simply be standing next to them while they stand on their tiptoes of adulthood. This little act that began on just an ordinary day, is a huge picture of how I look at parenthood.

When I was younger, I hated if the teacher had me tutor any child in my class. I was terrible at explaining things like math processes or spelling, just terrible. After I had children, teaching was all I wanted to do. And I’ve discovered that my change of attitude is not due to age and maturity, but to personal investment. “Teaching” is such a broad term; it encompasses a wide spectrum of necessary abilities and lessons we are here to instruct all children in this world. Where, as a school child, I approached tutoring others as a chore, today I approach it as an honor. And in my case, what I yearn to teach all three of my girls isn’t found in any books, its found in the passionate, incomparable heart of a mother:

Reach. Map out goals and make memories of milestones. Understand what makes you happy, understand what makes you sad, and understand what makes you undeniably you. As your mother, I will always be there for you. As your mother I may not always respond in the ways you had hoped for, but understand my intentions are that so one day, you reach entirely on your own. You know what you need to do, not how I told you to handle it. You can make your personal choices; I am there to support and guide you. Reach. Stretch yourself to your highest potential, so that one day, you might ‘shatter the ceiling’ that you could barely touch when you began.

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Stacey
Stacey is a small business artist out of Sobieski, WI. Originally from Lincoln, NE, she lived in several states before settling in to the Green Bay area in 2014. The mother of 3 girls, including a set of feisty fraternal twins, Stacey values being a work at home mom and incorporating her girls in to her work life. In 2012, after spending more than 15 years in the hospitality industry, Stacey took her passion for sewing and founded Eight Trees Company , where she creates memory animals from keepsake clothing. After successfully operating as an individual business, she decided to assist and encourage others as artists and creatives, and in 2017, founded S.A.G.E. As a supportive force for the arts and artistic expression at all levels of talent, Stacey looks to also facilitate a working environment for local artists to receive the support and encouragement they need. In the fall of 2019, S.A.G.E. opened “Creative Community,” a free open studio space staffed by volunteer local artists for anyone to visit and have access to arts and craft supplies to create. In addition to her love of visual arts, Stacey has enjoyed the creativity of writing since she was a young girl. With a bachelor’s degree in psychology and behavioral science, she draws inspiration in being an observer during social situations and reflecting on memories and experiences. A proponent of words, Stacey has more recently gotten back in to public speaking, taking ownership when her friends refer to her long winded tendencies as a “soap box.”