Some days, I beam with pride when my kids say “Thank You” at all the right times, or tell Grandma what a delicious dinner she made. Other days, I’m convinced I’ve completely failed as a parent and am raising the most spoiled rotten, ungrateful kids on earth!
Anyone else?
We expect our children to have good manners, and we also try to emphasize gratitude. It can be absolutely exhausting. But, I believe it takes a village, so I asked for advice from the masses on Facebook. Here are the wonderful suggestions I received, and some of our own methods:
- Require please and thank you – all the time. By the time your kids are four years old you will be so sick of reminding them that you’ll think you have already failed. But keep going.
- If you are raising your kids with a religious faith, pray before meals and before bed. We have taught our kids that praying is a time to thank God, because let’s be honest – the asking for things from Him just comes naturally. From the moment they could speak a few words, they’ve been thanking God for “food,” “cold milk,” “Mommy and Daddy,” and “Ba pa and Gamma.” They also like to pray for “that movie we’re going to watch later” while quickly glancing at us to see our reaction, but I’m okay with that.
- Thanksgiving is coming, and what better way to celebrate than by making a list of things and people we are all grateful for. It’s fun to do with kids of all ages. One of my friends has a thankful jar for her family. Every night at dinner everyone gets a turn to write down one thing they are thankful for and put it in the jar. It’s a great visual to see all the things you are thankful for!
- Similarly, make a gratitude tree.
Whether it’s a fancy Pinterest craft, or a drawing of a tree on a napkin, write something your family is grateful for on each leaf. It’s another fun visual for kids to help with. Last year I found one at Target in the dollar rack and I’m just making new leaves this year. - Be an example of gratitude with loved ones. Let your kids see you and your spouse be grateful towards each other. Let them hear you when you thank your parents, siblings, or when you tell friends you appreciate them.
- Be an example of gratitude TO your children. Thank them when they help you with something, when they clean something, explain something more fully, or behave in a way that makes you proud. They will feel wonderful about themselves.
- Be an example of gratitude with strangers. Thank your wait staff at restaurants, be kind and courteous to everyone at the doctor’s office, bank, post office, and any other place you go. Always remember that those little eyes are watching and little ears are listening.
- Encourage your children to talk to and thank other adults when you are out in public. Have them thank the cashier, server, someone in military clothing, or even give a thumbs up to construction crews.
- Choose a deserving person in your life and have your kids help you come up with a creative way to thank them.
- Send someone a thank you card that your kids made.
- Serve others! Think visiting nursing homes, shelters, bringing food to someone who is sick or doesn’t have as much. And visit your own grandparents and theirs regularly to help them with tasks.
- Once your kids can write, ask them to send thank you cards after their birthday. Get them in the habit now and you won’t need to remind them when they are older.
- Don’t inundate your kids with every new gadget or toy. Focus on the simple things in life like enjoying nature and baking cookies so they can be grateful for simple things!
- Resist the temptation to throw an epic birthday party every year. This may be going against the grain here, but if you set the expectation of a large group of friends having an epic bash at Sky Zone each year, this is what your kids will expect. A reasonable amount of gifts, a candle in a donut, and singing at home can be just as special.
- Give. Teach your children to give. Let them choose organizations to donate to, or let them pick out toys to give away to those less fortunate.
My most proud mommy moments have been when my children have bigger hearts than I do. When my daughters choose to give their little brother their favorite candy from their Halloween bag instead of their least favorite. When they pick their most beloved toy to give away, instead of something old they don’t play with. When my tiny two year old thanks someone for the smallest of favors. Those are the moments we know we must be doing SOMETHING right.
Emphasizing gratitude isn’t easy. But in those proud moments, it sure is worth it.
