Friendship in the motherhood years can be challenging. Busy schedules, needy kids and “Mom Brain” can all contribute to our ability to connect or stay in touch with others. But one day, our lives will change. And we will need friends to support us, or just have fun with. So here are some tips to foster your friendships during this crazy busy time of life.
Schedule!
I miss the days when my friends called and I was out the door in 5 minutes. Being spontaneous is so much fun! But with a family, it’s not feasible. So instead I need to schedule. It definitely isn’t as much fun as just heading out the door but it gets me the time I need with my friends. One day I will be able to just head out the door again. And then I will want friends in my life still to do things with.
Be willing to put things aside if a friend really needs you
A year ago, I was in the hospital (out of town) with some friends whose child was there. One of the nurses there asked me if I was my friend’s sister. I told her no I was just a friend. She was so surprised by this. That shocked me! Why would it be surprising that a friend would be supporting these parents? Is it that uncommon? If so, then more people need to step out there and be willing to put things aside for friends. Take the time to help those who need it!
With all the people in my family that I need to take care of, it is hard to think about helping out the moment a friend needs me. But sometimes truly unexpected things happen. I try to stop and think of myself in those situations. What would I need? How should I show my support?
Take the phone calls (we all know we will be interrupted)
Okay mamas! We have all done this one. The phone rings, the kids were being perfect angels all day, but the minute you answer that phone… Well you know what happens!
Pick up that phone anyway! Anyone that has kids will be able to understand that our conversations may be choppy. I know that my friends might need to put me on hold for a minute to deal with the trouble their kids are getting into. But I tell you what, I appreciate those friends who try to talk to me versus just text me. It shows me that they care.
And obviously there are times that I can’t answer (no phone call time is important for our family). I just make sure, to call back. And if I can’t that day, I schedule the time that I can so that my friends know I am trying to get back to them.
Give grace
Mom friendships need to be full of grace! Kids get sick at the last minute, I can’t leave the house on time most days, and sometimes “Mom Brain” hits and I completely forget everything I was looking forward to doing. If I would want to be forgiven in these situations, shouldn’t I forgive others in the same spot?
I encourage you to reach out! Take the time for your friends, and give grace to those other busy moms out there!
